The Strength From Within

Anyone who knows me in real life knows that the past year has been absolutely without doubt the most hectic and busy year of my life. I’ve been swamped with work right from February 2014 (okay, so I just realized its been more than a year now. Wow), and its been a non stop roller coaster ride since the start.

There have, of course, been several (numerous, more like) ups and downs during this entire time.

Times when I felt jubilant and flushed with victory, times when I was just so happy about some occurrence, times when there was this sense of deep satisfaction within me for what I’d done… They were the good times.

And then there were times (lots and lots of times) when I felt like there was no way I was going to succeed in my… let’s call it quest? Times when I was convinced that I was a complete failure, times when I cursed myself for having taken on so much, times when I was convinced that I was the one who was cursed, times when I just knew that there was absolutely no way I could do more, and this was way too much for one single person to handle, times when -you get the idea. The bad times were very bad and many.

But through it all, whether it was to share in my accomplishments or to pick me up when I was down, there was one constant. And that was my well wishers. My family, my partner, my friends – those who are the closest to me, as well as those who belonged to the ‘hi – bye friends’ category.

Throughout this difficult year, they’ve all stood by me in the truest sense of the word – even when one of my best friends was halfway across the world in Sweden, she was still able to help me brush off a let down by giving me a dose of her ‘its not worth it’ attitude, and I never felt her absence, because I always knew that she was just a phone call away.

And that wasn’t an isolated incident. There have been several such instances in this past year, and I wouldn’t be able to pick just one memory even if I attempted to, so I wont.

There was the time when I was short on about 15 subjects for my data collection for a project, and was at the end of my rope because I wasn’t able to find any more (it was a special population, so there was a lot of red tape involved), and a friend of a friend of a friend got hold of one of his contacts, and got me the sample.

There was the time when I won a huge competition, and my mum took me out to the mall and offered to get me anything I wanted.

There was the time when me and my partner spent hours in cafe drinking several cups of coffee and trying to figure out how to present a research project we’d done, and took turns boosting the other’s morale.

There was the time when I got my last rejection from all the US universities I’d applied to, and when I told my friend about it, trying to sound all nonchalant and blase, she saw through the act that it was, and sent me sweetest message ever, it brought me to tears.

So like I was saying, it was moments like these that got me through this year. I

t was these moments that made me realize that despite the disappoints, I’ve come through this years with a pretty impressive set of accomplishments, and that’s nothing to look down upon.

It’s made me realize that I have a strength within me that burns for a challenge, and that is something to be proud of.

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